Katie Goodman conducts improv comedy/life coach workshop within shouting distance of WY

Katie Goodman, improv comedian, author, and rabble-rousing singer/songwriter ("I Didn't F*ck It Up"), will be conducting a workshop at Chico Hot Springs, MT, Oct. 8-9. This is as close as she will ever get to Wyoming, unless she tap-dances over the border into Yellowstone while she's at Chico.

Here are the details:

Katie will present her workshop teaching how to use the tools of improv comedy in every day life. This workshop will be presented at the gorgeous Chico Hot Springs, one hour from Bozeman, near Yellowstone National Park in Montana.

Click here for reviews and testimonials. For additional information about the workshop, click here.

The cost is $255 which includes a beautiful Chico lunch both days and Katie's book to take home. Rooms run from $45 - $200, so to book your room, call Chico directly and pick what you like: 406-333-4933. Most participants stay over Saturday night, but you are certainly welcome to make a longer retreat of it and stay Friday and Sunday or longer. The workshop hours are 9am - 4:30 both Saturday and Sunday.

Lunches are provided for workshop participants both Saturday and Sunday. Exceptional cuisine from one of the region’s finest restaurant is available in the Chico Lodge restaurant for breakfast and dinner, as well as other budget options nearby. Other activities available include massage, hiking, horse-back-riding and more. And of course, the wonderful hot springs of Chico are included with your stay at the Lodge.

To register or for more information, email us or call 406-522-7623. 

Roy's a Liberal who sings funny songs about conservatives

Roy Zimmerman was born in San Francisco and still lives in the Bay Area. He could dwell forever in this cone of Liberalism. Yet something inside keeps urging him to get out and meet "Real People," those salt-of-the-earth types that conservatives love, in theory.

A bunch of us Real People went out to see Roy in concert Thursday night at the UU Church of Cheyenne. Some of you may not think of Unitarians as real people or UU as a real religion. We rarely hear about the Cheyenne Unitarians waging holy war against, say, the Sunni wing of the Unitarians over in Laramie.

Despite their namby-pamby ways, UU seems to thrive and put on great programs at their midtown church.

Roy Zimmerman's concert was one of those programs.

Roy wanders the country, seeking out pockets of Liberals to sing to. His plan is to play in all 50 states before the 2012 elections. He did the same thing before the 2008 elections, missing only Hawaii (too far away), Alaska (too cold) and New Mexico (didn't know it was in the United States). He won't make the same mistake again. This time, he started in Alaska, came to Wyoming and this weekend is in Colorado. You probably didn't know this, but Colorado Springs has a UU Church and Roy will play there Sunday. The American Taliban which make up most of the religious in Colorado Springs will not be amused.

One of the funniest songs from Thursday's Cheyenne concert was "The Abstinence Song."

"Abstain with me baby
Abstain with me all night long."

He sang it in a strained voice, as if attempting to keep his devilish desires in check. He also sang "The Bible Tells Me So," which recalls all the great marriages in the Old Testament. You know, King Solomon and his 700 wives and 300 concubines.Another great song is "My Conservative Girlfriend." He used to sing this with Anne Coulter in mind. Now he sings it to Michelle Bachmann.

"Moammar Ghaddafi gives us a glimpse of what a Michele Bachmann presidency would be like," he said as a prelude to the song.

Amen.

You can't visit Wyoming without bringing up the specter of Dick Cheney. And lo, he is quite spectrous. And his new book is out so his Satanic Majesty is all over the news.

Roy sang his "Chickenhawk Song," spelling out the litany of all those draft-dodging warmongers (like Cheney) who were only too happy to send your sons and daughters to die in Iraq and Afghanistan. Possibly the most touching song of the night was the ballad about being the "Last Man to Die in Afghanistan."

He didn't let Liberals off the hook. There was a satiric song about how hard it is to be a Liberal, and one about the "psychedelic relics" of the sixties. And a touching ballad about how regular people are trying to rise up against the bullshit. He reminded us that "hope" and "change" are powerful words, but there is a third one we need to remember: Struggle.

Three words: hope, struggle and change.

Roy is traveling the U.S. with his Starving Ear tour. This is his answer to the Hungry I in San Francisco, a place that featured outspoken activists of the fiftes and sixties. People like Mort Sahl, Bill Cosby, Lenny Bruce, Glenn Yarbrough and a host of others. Hungry I = Starving Ear. I get it.

Look up Roy's stuff at www.royzimmerman.com

Who are the funniest American writers?

Pat Robertson helped me discover Andy Borowitz.

Borowitz writes a great humor blog. The other day he posted this:

Evangelist Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today’s broadcast of his 700 Club program by saying that yesterday’s mild East Coast earthquake was God’s revenge on people “who act kind of gay.” 

I saw the re-post on Facebook and, thinking it was serious, made some sort of snarky remark. Then someone hipper than me sent a status-update that Borowitz was a humorist, fool, kind of like The Onion. Then I looked up the rest of Borowitz's take on Robertson:

"All across the Eastern seaboard, there are men who get manicures, wear designer eyewear and know about thread counts,” Rev. Robertson said.  “God finds this somewhat gay-like behavior confusing, and He responded by getting mildly peeved.” The televangelist warned that if Americans persist in their “seemingly sort-of-gay behavior,” the country should brace itself for additional ambiguous acts of retaliation from the Almighty.
 “God will strike back at people who act sort of gay with all kinds of mild responses,” he said.  “If you keep getting pedicures and facials, you can expect two to three inches of rain and some really hot humid days in your future.”

I get it. Very funny. Cuts close to the truth which is what good satire should do. And I fell for it.

Here's his bio from amazon.com:

Andy Borowitz  is a writer and a comedian whose work appears in The New Yorker and at his satirical website, BorowitzReport.com, which has millions of readers around the world. The author of six books, he is the first-ever winner of the National Press Club's humor award, a two-time finalist for the Thurber Prize for American Humor, and a two-time host of the National Book Awards. He has been called a "Swiftian satirist" (The Wall Street Journal), "America's satire king" (The Daily Beast) and "one of the funniest people in America" (CBS News Sunday Morning).

He has a new book coming out in October. It's called "The 50 Funniest American Writers." Already he's causing controversy with his list. For one thing, Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell aren't on it. To thinking people, they are the most hilarious people in America (along with Michele Bachmann). But other comedians didn't make the grade, either.

But humor writers aren't really comedians. They have comedic talents, naturally, but they also know how to create believable characters and string sentences together into a story. 

Some of Borowitz's favorites are mine too. Ring Lardner, Robert Benchley, S.J. Perelman, Mark Twain, Fran Leibowitz, Molly Ivins, Woody Allen, etc. Others I don't know much about: David Rakoff, Larry Wilmore and Sloane Crosley. Must find out more…

On the literary humor side, the National Book Critics Circle “Critical Mass” blog has been featuring posts all summer by its membership and former winners about the best comic novels. It comes under the title "NBCC Reads." Since I didn’t see this until we were well into the dog days, I had to play catch-up with my reading. 

Favorite comic novel? No surprise there – “Catch-22” by Joseph Heller. It’s a masterpiece, one that I’ve read six times and dip into periodically for some laughs. The characters are fantastic and the writing superb.

I’m a little less insightful on some of the other choices. I haven't read “Lucky Jim” by Kingsley Amis. This makes me feel dumb as apparently everyone else in creation has read this 1953 novel.

I feel smart again when I read about the classic English novels “Tristram Shandy,” “Pride and Prejudice,” and “Tom Jones.” It’s been awhile, but English Department Brit Lit courses are good for something.

David Abrams writes at length about Lewis Nordan’s “Music of the Swamp. I haven’t read that Nordan masterpiece, but I have read “Lightning Song,” “The Sharpshooter Blues” and “Wolf Whistle.” There is always a dark streak to Lewis Nordan, usually darkly humorous – he’s from Mississippi, after all. In the latter novel, he uses it to great horror with the infamous Emmett Till murder.

“A Confederacy of Dunces” was named by three writers. Bharati Mukerjee likes Salman Rushdie’s “Shame.”

Here’s how Rob Spilman describes his favorite, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," by Douglas Adams: “The consistently hilarious series of novels is deadpan funny from the opening destruction of the earth."

My son Kevin would agree with that. He turned me on to the series through audiobook during a cross-state jaunt across Wyoming. He’s still a big fan. I also saw the movie, which sort-of counts.

Go read this Critical Mass series as summer wanes.

I’d like to make a pitch for some of my favorite comedic writers, ones that seem to have been left out of the NBCC series. The late Grace Paley’s stories are amazing. I have a signed first edition of Paley’s “The Collected Stories.” I suppose I should be handling it with kid gloves, but it’s well-worn now. Here’s the opening from “An Interest in Life:”

“My husband gave me a broom one Christmas. This wasn’t right. No one can tell me it was meant kindly.”

It just gets better from there.

Tim Sandlin of Jackson is a fantastically funny novelist. I’m not saying that just because he’s from Wyoming. Go read “Jimi Hendrix Turns 80” or any one of the Gros Vont series. Tell me that’s not funny.

Bronx-born Jerome Charyn writes the Isaac Sidel NYC cop novels. I read the Mysterious Press paperbacks that came out in the 1990s. They are very hard to find now, at least in bookstores, even good ones such as Kramerbooks in D.C. Kirkus Reviews says that Charyn “writes like a rabbi on bad acid.” The NYT Book Review called his books “anarchic in form and apocalyptic in theme.”

Our public library has none of Charyn’s books (they’ve tried to order them). Neither do our bookstores. I have a few copies you can borrow. I’ll temporarily swap you a copy of “Maria’s Girls” for one of “Lucky Jim.”

Tea Party Slim: "Keep the change"

An August Sunday morning. Tea Party Slim and I were dining on the veranda. We weren't so much "dining" as eating doughnuts and swilling coffee. And "veranda" would be a high-falutin' name for my utilitarian back porch.

The sun was out, sprinklers were on and we were at rest on the Sabbath. Slim's wife was at church. Mine was walking the basement treadmill.

I announced: "Which way, Cheyenne?"

Slim looked at me blankly. He held half of a gigantic apple fritter in his hand.

I pointed at the front of the Cheyenne paper. Big headline: "Which Way, Cheyenne?" Smaller subhead: "What do you want our city and county to look like 20 years down the road?"

Slim sat back in the chair. "I like it just the way it is."

"Keep the change, right? Just like your bumper sticker?"

Anti-Obama stickers remained affixed to the massive bumper of Slim's Hummer. I guessed that he was saving them for 2012.

He nodded. "Change is not good."

I finished off my chocolate doughnut and sipped some coffee. "Don't you enjoy electricity and indoor plumbing?"

He waved the fritter at me. "Don't be ridiculous. Our country's been the leader in those sorts of improvements."

"So you wouldn't be adverse to further civic improvements? Paved roads, traffic lights, schools, hospitals, long-range planning, better airports?"

"Paved roads are overrated," he harrumphed. "What kind of long-range planning are we talking about?

I picked up the paper and read aloud about the two long-range plans. The City of Cheyenne Metropolitan Planning Organization (MPO) is commissioning a new five-year plan as the previous one expires. It will cost $278,000, 90.5 percent paid for by federal funds and the rest split between the city and county. Clarion Associates out of Fort Collins will conduct the study. Laramie County's five-year plan is five years out of date. It will only incur nominal expenses for printing and community events as it plays catch up to things such as the massive Swan Ranch development, the Niobrara Oil Play, increased industrial development along county stretches of I-25 and I-80, etc.

Slim's responses was predictable. "The first is a waste of time and money. The second is a waste of time."

"But the Feds are picking up most of the tab for the first one"

He sat up. "See, there you go again. That's our tax money you're talking about. Why should it go to some nonsense like long-range planning when developers and and businesses and oil companies should be left alone to grow our economy." Slim paused. He looked thoughtful for a micro-second. "In fact, I'm going to write Rep. Cynthia Lummis and tell her to eliminate whatever federal agency is providing money for that stupid study." He jammed the rest of the fritter into his mouth, washed it down with some java.

"Wow, Slim, I didn't know you felt so strongly about boring planning issues."

He chuckled. "You like to push my buttons, don't you?

"I truly do. Hey Slim, did you know that U.S. Secretary of Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood recently announced a $400,000 grant to our county. It's for rebuilding the interchange at I-25 and College Drive. The goal is to 'reduce crashes.' Good idea, don't you think?"

"I hate that interchange. Some nitwit from Colorado ran into the Hummer there last winter."

"So it's O.K. to spend federal money on that project?"

"Let those gigantic truck stops pay the costs. There's three of them out there. Plus a bunch of fast-food joints."

"Soak the corporations, eh Slim?" I smiled. "Socialist!"

He laughed. "They benefit the most from he interchange. Let them pay to rebuild it."

I paused. "You may have a revolutionary idea there there, Slim. Have developers actually pay up-front for the roads, sewers, water lines, electric services and everything else that will benefit them. The developers will love that idea."

For the first time that morning, Slim began to look uncomfortable. "People should pay for the services they use. That's all I'm saying. Don't overextend yourself. That goes for people and that goes for our country. That's how we got into this mess. Now everyone wants to get bailed out."

"I don't."

"You're one of the few Liberals who can say that."

"My wife can say that. My kids can say that."

"You know what I mean," he snapped. "Not all Liberals want a bailout. A lot of them do. And so do some Republicans. They should be ashamed of themselves."

I felt a need to sum up the conversation so I could go inside for another doughnut. "So no change?"

"No change."

"Another fritter?"

I fetched more fried dough and brewed dark roast. For a few moments, we sat quietly in the warm morning.

"I probably won't be around in 20 years," Slim said.

"Not if you keep eating those fritters."

He contemplated his lumpy slab of fried dough. "You may be right."

"Your kids and grandkids will be here, though. Mine too."

"I guess they'll have to figure it out," Slim said. "Just like we did."

"Or not."

"Or not," he concluded.

No monorail for Cheyenne, but plenty of travel thrills and chills at I-25 & College Drive interchange

The Feds are sending $6 million in grants to Wyoming for some much-needed transportation projects.

Unfortunately, my pitch for a Cheyenne monorail went down in flames. Probably a good thing considering Springfield's terrible experience with monorailism.

But Cheyenne did get some much-needed transportation help with a $400,000 grant to address the mess that is the I-25 & College Drive interchange. It's not a big stretch to imagine that Homer Simpson designed this interchange. It features three big truck stops, the Southeast Wyoming Welcome Center and a plethora of fast-food joints. More stuff is being built as part of the new business park. Down College Drive to the east are two of Cheyenne's four high schools (South and Triumph), several new housing developments, as well as the county's community college. To the west, a new road has been built to funnel construction traffic to the business park. 

To be fair, most of the businesses sprang up after the interchange was built. Now it's time to play catch-up. 

To get to almost anywhere from the I-25 on-ramps, you have to turn left without the benefit of traffic lights or even roundabouts. When you come up the ramp from I-25 South and want to turn left to Love's, you have to watch out for traffic turning left on to the interstate access ramp in front of you, AND for traffic exiting McDonald's or the rest area or the travel plaza headed across the viaduct to I-25 North. This wouldn't be too terrible if most of the traffic wasn't made up huge semis bearing windmill blades, oil field machinery and monorail parts for the recently announced Wheatland-to-Glendo Transportation Corridor (get more info from the good folks at Wheaterville -- tell them I sent you).  

Add to the motorized confusion a recent influx of hobos. Not sure where they're coming from, but there is a new generation of hitchhikers and bindlestiffs. It's summer, and everyone is traveling. A lot of them seem to be running out of gas at the interchange. "Need gas money to get me and pregnant wife to Denver. God bless." I give money when I have it. Usually I am stopped behind 12 semis so have plenty of time to look under the seats for spare change. Another sign held by a guy in a nice suit: "Ran out of gas on way to job interview with Standard & Poors. Will accept major credit cards." I might have imagined that one. But not this one. The other day I saw a guy on the I-25 North on-ramp with this sign: "I-80 and Hawaii." He did look a bit like an aging surfer. I gave him creds for creativity. And creativity helps when you're trying to catch a ride. I still remember the hitchhiker I met in California in 1972. He carried a five-gallon gas tank which contained all of his worldly goods. "People more likely to stop if they think you've run out of gas," he said. He did admit that some motorists were not pleased at being duped but most went ahead and gave him a ride anyway. I have a soft spot for hitchhikers. I have a soft spot for anyone trying to get from one place to another without a vehicle.

But they are in the minority at Cheyenne's wacky interchange.

This week's announcement from U.S. Secretary of Transportation carried this wording about the Laramie County grant:

$400,000: Laramie County -- Improve traffic operations at Interstate 25/College Drive interchange in Cheyenne to reduce crashes. 

This is always a worthy goal. I drive this interchange almost every day delivering my daughter to work at the Cheyenne Animal Shelter. It's convenient for me to travel I-25 from the north side of town. Convenient until I get to the College Drive interchange. I sometimes travel through downtown to Lincolnway and then over the railroad tracks to Southwest Drive and the Shelter. But most times the crossing is blocked by a half-dozen trains. I didn't realize there were than many tracks through Cheyenne. But apparently there are. 

Cheyenne is a transportation hub. And we better start acting like it. Problem is, traffic in all forms is increasing. The Tea Party hates gubment and gubment takes care of the roads. Tea Partiers not only want no tax increases -- they want to cut taxes and strangle (or drown) gubment. It's possible they all flit around in autogyros. But even then, airports are crowded and we have a tiny, crowded, gubment-subsidized one in Cheyenne. Where will they park those autogyros?

One more thing. About half of the $6 million coming to WY in these recent grants go to non-motorized transportation projects in Teton, Sublette and Fremont counties. I've been a motorist for 44 years but a bicyclist longer than that. Now a lapsed cyclist (bad knees, lazy bones, etc.), I don't begrudge funding to bike paths and recreation trails. The one in Teton County is especially expensive but will bear much fruit, green-wise, as it will be used by millions of residents and tourists over the years. Yes, Teton County is disliked by many Wyomingites. But it is a huge economic driver and a benefit to the entire state. Three million tourists a year come annually to the national parks and many are taxed as they spend money in Jackson and Wilson and Teton Village. The airport is the best in the state and the roads are (mostly) in great shape. The road over Togwotee Pass to The Hole is being rebuilt this summer. Be prepared for delays! 

You can read about these new grants at the Casper Star-Tribune

Do Leftie bloggers really hate Christians or their un-Christian attitudes?

Seems that I will always have material for weekend blogging as long as the local Radical Christian Right is on the job.

Harlan Edmonds wrote an op-ed in today's Wyoming Tribune-Eagle. Mr. Edmonds has hit those pages before -- and hit them hard -- with screeds against abortion, Liberals, immigrants, RINOs -- you name it.

I don't mind screeds as I sometimes engage in those same tactics. But shouldn't they make sense or present some solid evidence for the Average Joe (or Mike) to latch onto.

His target is "Tough Enough to Wear Pink" day held Thursday at Cheyenne Frontier Days. On that day, burly dudes in pink wrestle steers and ride bucking broncos. In Thursday's parade, Gov. Matt Mead wore pink, as did Secretary of State Max Maxfield. Members of the CFD committee wore pink. This was a statement advocating increased funding for breast cancer research for all those women in our lives faced with the disease. The CFD's charity of choice on this issue is the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundations. Christian Right activists contend that some of the money donated to Komen MAY end up being donated to Planned Parenthood which MIGHT use it to counsel poor women to have abortions.

In the name of Christian purity, Mr. Edmonds and Mr. Wall contend that not a penny of our money should go to a wonderful charity which saves lives and will some day help to find a cure for women afflicted with breast cancer. They may be our wives or daughters or co-workers or someone we don't even know.

How very un-Christian of you Christian gentlemen.

But that's not the point, is it? Mr.. Edmonds will believe what he believes and logic will not shake him. He spends most of his column with ad hominem attacks local Christian minister and fellow Leftie blogger Rodger McDaniel. Mr. Edmonds says that the Rev. McDaniel "managed to squeeze more anti-Christian bigotry into a single WTE piece recently than Mullah Omar could fit in a four-hour fatwa."

I always like it when Christian fundamentalists try to equate Lefties with Muslim fundamentalists. As we all know, Fundies of all stripes believe in the same basic philosophy -- literalism. This is one of the reasons that some of my fellow Leftie bloggers label the American Christian Right "the American Taliban."

And I just did the same thing. Oops!

Lefties have learned a few things during the past 40 yars or so. Literalism is a dead end, whether it applies to the Bible or to The Communist Manifesto, the Koran or Mao's Little Red Book, the Book of Mormon or The Port Huron Statement. Living your life by the tenets of one little book penned by humans (and possibly inspired by God) eventually backs you into a corner.

It's also un-democratic (small "d"). The humanist principles upon which America was founded call upon citizens to continue to continually think and grow. Fundies, by nature, reach a dead end in their personal growth. All they are left with is a striving toward the End Times and eternal salvation. The hell with society. The hell with my fellow man and human. The hell with cancer cures and global arming solutions and universal health care.

In the end, they are anti-life.

In its efforts to aid humankind, CFD advocates life over death. I have a feeling that there are a few Christians within the CFD leadership ranks. And you can't swing a cat at a rodeo without knocking down a Christian cowboy or cowgirl. I know because I tried that last year and burly security guards wearing pink threw me out of the rodeo grounds.

SECURITY GUARD: "We don't cotton to your kind around here."
ME: "Leftie bloggers?"
SECURITY GUARD: "No, guys who swing cats."

I left, chastened.

Another thing I've noticed about fundamentalists, whether they be Mullah Omar or Harlan Edmonds -- they have no sense of humor.

I strive for humor and sometimes succeed. Maybe that's why I was inspired to wear pink fairy wings during my turn as emcee Thursday evening at the Atlas Theatre's old-fashioned melodrama. The pink wings looked great with my cowboy duds. "Tough enough to wear pink fairy wings!"

Take that, you close-minded fundies.

Hurry up with those flying cars -- Wyoming roads going to hell!

I thought I was seeing things when I read in last Friday's Casper Star-Tribune that Wyoming's roads are going to hell.

The road to hell may be paved with good intentions, but good intentions won't pave the roads through Wyoming.

Money will pave the state's roads, or else they will go to hell for decades without a substantial increase in funding...

Nice lede by reporter Tom Morton. His interview with Lowell Fleenor, district engineer for the central Wyoming division of WYDOT, yielded some great quotes:

"At current funding levels, there is no way the system will not deteriorate."

And...

"Due to funding constraints, WYDOT is moving from a transportation improvement program to a pavement preservation program."

This is bad news for all of us who depend on our roads to get from one place to another. Until jet packs and flying cars assume their rightful place in Wyoming garages, we will remain dependent on driving our four-wheeled personal mobility devices on paved roads.

There are several causes. Decline in federal revenue. Lack of Congressional action on a national highway bill. Low state fuel taxes, with Wyoming's 14 cents a gallon the lowest in the Rocky Mountain region. No action by the state legislature on raising fuel taxes or turning I-80 into a toll road or on retrofitting our cars with anti-grav devices.

Just kidding on that last one. Although that may happen before the legislature ever approves an increase in the fuel tax. Can't even say the "T" word in Wyoming.

So our roads go to hell.

Interestingly enough, Gov. Matt Mead has been talking up the importance of infrastructure. He’s proposed predictable, long-term revenue streams to fund municipalities and highways. His proposals have been rejected by the state legislature. The Governor’s motto is “Wyoming First.” At the Wyoming Association of Municipalities conference in Sheridan, he reiterated that and added that now is the time to invest in the state.

“I go the National Governors’ Association convention and Wyoming is in a much better place than almost every other state. We’re in competition with other states and they can’t do this now. Now is the time for Wyoming to do this. Our municipalities need this. Maintenance and building of infrastructure does not get cheaper with time.”

“If you want healthy economic development, you must have infrastructure.”

For more on this subject, read the CST's editorial in the July 6 edition: "Lack of Wyoming highway funding an emergency."

UPDATE: House GOP plans to cut $15 billion from transportation budget. See story at http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/fiery-words-over-gop-proposal-to-cut-transportation-funds/2011/07/07/gIQAm6fo2H_story.html. Guess we'll have to make do with travel on horseback over rutted trails. Back to the good ol' days!

ANOTHER UPDATE: Not too interested in this $250,000 flying car: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/technology/2011/07/the-flying-car-is-now-cleared-for-highway-use.html

Some dirty deeds going on at the Depot this summer in Cheyenne

This summer’s melodrama is Dirty Deeds at the Depot
Directed by Barb Jalonen
At the Historic Atlas Theatre in downtown Cheyenne
July 14-17, 2011 @ 7:00pm
(Frontier Days) July 21-23, 25-30 2011 @ 7:00pm & 9:00pm, July 24 & 31, 2011 @ 7:00pm
August 4-7, 2011 @ 7:00pm

(NOTE: CLTP is not having matinee performances of the Old Fashioned Melodrama this season.)

Cheyenne Little Theatre presents the 55th Annual Old-Fashioned Melodrama with Dirty Deeds at the Depot. Return to the glory days of the Depot with our heroine, Lacie Camisole, the dastardly Professor Thaddeus Mack and the kind station master, Justin Tyme.

Volunteers needed. Sign up at http://www.cheyennelittletheatre.org/volunteer_form.aspx. It's fun! Take it from me and my wife -- we've spent many cool nights at the Atlas making popcorn and slinging beers. Our kids too  (not the beer part).

Produced in cooperation with www.heroandvillian.com

Are those predator wolves or trophy wolves flying jets over Wyoming?

"Wolves Flying Jets" is a song by Greenhorse. Are these predator wolves or trophy wolves? And can they be hunted while flying jets over Wyoming or Montana or Idaho?

Ask Greenhorse when the group (with Wyoming origins) performs tonight at the WYO Theater in Sheridan.

The song --



Wolves Flying Jets by Greenhorse

Support your local libraries -- and read "Catch-22"

"Saturday Night Live" head writer and actor Seth Myers wants you to read. "Catch-22" by Joseph Heller is one of my favorite novels. A great satire on the organizational mind, specifically the military, and the U.S.A. Falling-down funny in parts and full of horror in others. The book opened up new worlds for me. Isn't that what reading is supposed to do?

Tea Party Slim & Sovereign Jake vs. Liberal Mike

I ran into Tea Party Slim at the downtown Starbucks. “Hey Slim,” I said. “Enjoying that Fair Trade Coffee?”

He peered at his grande coffee cup. "Slim” was printed on its side.

"It's just coffee,” said Slim.

I grabbed a colorful bag of beans from the rack. I read: “By working together and paying the prices that premium coffee deserves, we’re helping improve the lives of those farmers and their communities. Find out about additional ways we are working with farmers to ethnically source our coffee at starbucks.com/sharedplanet.”

Slim frowned. “I may have to go back to the doughnut shop. They have regular American coffee there -- and it doesn't preach at you.”

“Even Dave’s Doughnuts serves coffee made somewhere else," I said. "It’s sold by corporations like Folger’s or Nestle. The corporation gets more of the profit and small growers less.”

“Who’s the know-it-all?” Slim’s friend spoke for the first time. He looked a bit younger than Slim, maybe in his fifties. His hair was streaked with gray as was his bushy beard. He wore a striped western shirt, brown vest, jeans and Sunday-go-to-meeting cowboy boots.

“Meet Liberal Mike,” said Slim, “one of the few registered Democrats in Laramie County.”

“I’m Jake,” said the man. “Freeman."

We shook hands. His grip was firm; his eyes held mine.

"Jake Freeman," I said.

"No, my last name is, well, it's not important," he said. "I meant that I am a Free Man -- sovereign."

I'd heard the terms before and wanted to know more. “Let me get some shade-tree-grown Nicaraguan coffee and a whole wheat organic scone and I’ll join you gents.”

I did just that. I grabbed one of the easy chairs across from Jake. He and Slim stared at me. “Do I have a booger hanging out of my nose?” I swiped my hand across my face.

Slim laughed. “Jake doesn’t know any Liberals.” He turned to Jake. “It’s like going to the zoo, eh Jake? Looking at the strange creatures.”

“I have lots of company,” I said. "In 2008, 3,800 new Democrats registered in Laramie County. Many of them voted. That's how Obama won the majority of votes in this county."

"That was then," said Slim. "Where were they last November?"

"I don't vote," said Jake.

This time, Slim and I stared at Jake.

"Don't vote?"

"Don't need to," he said. "Why should I have to register to vote for a government I don't believe in?"

Jake erupted in a diatribe about what it means to be a sovereign. The united states of America (lower care u and s) is a republic based on the Declaration of Independence, the Articles of Confederation and the Constitution. The Magna Carta, too. And the Bible. The United States of America (capitalized) was corrupted following the Civil War. It became a centralized, profit-seeking corporation, its many laws and regulations just ways to keep the people in their place. States, on the other hand, are individual republics and make the only laws worth following.

Our coffee cups were bone-dry by the time Jake fell silent.

"I guess you don't pay taxes," I said, recalling the big check I just wrote to the IRS.

He chuckled. "I'm not a slave to the IRS. I believe in free enterprise. Me and my fellow sovereigns barter our goods and services."

"What's your skill?"

"Paperwork," he said with a grin. "In my previous life, I was a Certified Public Accountant with the State of Wyoming. I know all the tricks. I pay my filing fee and present reams of paperwork that some clerk has to input into the system. Clogs up the bureaucracy. Drives them crazy."

"Guerrilla tactics," said Slim the veteran.

"Same kind of tactics that anti-war activists used during Vietnam -- and right now," I said. "Don't pay taxes for the war machine. Or pay in bags of pennies that you haul down to the IRS office. File loads of paperwork to clog the system."

Jake stared at me. "You Liberals have your own causes," he said. "Mostly you believe in big government. An illegitimate government." He paused. "Our president doesn't even have a birth certificate."

"Now you're talkin'" said Slim.

I replied: "I thought you didn't believe in government. That's who handles birth certificates. Do you want government more involved in tracking our personal lives?"

Jake waved away my criticism. "State and local governments have some legitimacy. For instance, I register my vehicles and pay the fees. My truck needs a license plate."

"So some government is O.K.?"

"State and local. The county sheriff is the law of the land."

"If you're so sovereign, why would you take orders from any law officer."

He nodded. "Slim, your boy here is sharper than he looks."

"He has his moments," said Slim.

"There is one thing that we won't register, right Slim?" He padded his vest, lifting it up so I could see the Glock snug in its holster. Slim, in turn, lifted his jacket and revealed the SIG Sauer pistol he had showed off to me several times.

"No gun registration for these bad boys," said Jake. "It's just a way for the One World Government to track us down, take away our guns and lock us away in re-education camps."

The coffee was long gone, and the conversation had taken a bad turn.

"This government will fall, by peace or by force," said Jake.

I stood. "If you gentlemen will excuse me, I'm off to buy a gun."

"I thought you didn't believe in guns," said Slim.

"Hush, Slim," said Jake. "I think we talked him into joining us."

"No," I answered. "When the time comes, I may need it to protect myself and my family from the likes of you."

NOTE: Much of the information on the sovereign movement was taken from an excellent three-part series by Tom Morton in the Casper Star-Tribune. Joe O'Sullivan also covered some similar issues regarding city zoning laws. For some additional stories, read Tom Morton's blog at http://trib.com/news/opinion/blogs/morton/

Tea Party Slim is not so civil about The Civil War

Tea Party Slim and I were on the back porch discussing the American Civil War. We would have been on the front porch but the Wyoming west wind was blowing too damn hard. Under shelter, we sipped iced tea festooned with sprigs of mint.

“You mean The War Between the States, don’t you?” said Slim.

“The Civil War is what I’m talking about,” I replied. “It was 1861-1865. It started with the South seceding from the Union and firing on a military fort in Charleston Harbor.”

“That’s the one I’m talking about – The War of Northern Aggression. The South just wanted to live in peace…”

“…with their slaves.”

Slim held up his hand. “Not all Southerners had slaves. In fact, 85 percent of them did not.”

“But 15 percent did. And they were the merchants and land barons and politicians that forced the issue. People like Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis, Scarlett O’Hara’s pa, Mary Custis, etc.”

“You mean Mary Custis, granddaughter of Gen. George Washington, slaveholder?”

“One and the same.”

“Or Thomas Jefferson, slave owner and well, you know… He liked his female slaves.” Slim was trying to be delicate.

“Sally Hemmings – we all know the story,” I said. “And I’m sure there are hundreds like it all across the South. The Massa had all the power and when he came calling, well, how could a girl turn him down?”

“O.K., O.K., enough of that,” said Slim. “People make mistakes.”

“Rape is merely a mistake?”

“Let’s get back to the politics. This stuff makes me sick.”

“Rape is politics.” I had to get in one more jab. “But we were talking about The Civil War. Ken Burns called it that on PBS.”

“Don’t get me started on PBS.”

I dearly wanted to get him started on PBS, one of the Tea Party’s favorite targets, but held my tongue. “Shelby Foote is interviewed on the show. He’s a Southerner and he calls it The Civil War.”

“He has to do that on TV.”

I disappeared inside and brought back Shelby Foote’s massive three-volume The Civil War: A Narrative. “Shelby Foote called it The Civil War.”

“His publisher made him do it,” said Slim. “The War of Northern Aggression: A Narrative wouldn’t be welcomed in those New York literary circles.”

“Foote was from Mississippi, land of great writers” I added. “You can borrow the books if you want.”

“No thanks,” he said. “I’ve read all I need to about The Civ… I mean, The War Between the States.”

I held the books in my lap. They weighed a ton. I wondered if I should tell Slim that I’d only read half of the first volume.

“That’s the problem – the victor gets to tell the story,” said Slim. “The North won. The North tells their side of the story.”

“I told you that Foote is a Mississippian,” I said. “Did you watch him on the PBS series? He spoke very kindly about the South and Southerners and said some harsh words about the North. The Union generals stunk, for one thing.”

Slim smiled. “They did, didn’t they? McClellan was the worst.”

“It’s hard to say who the worst was,” I replied. “So much competition. But they did find a leader in Grant. And Sherman is credited with creating the “total war” concept with his march through the South.”

“Talk about rape and pillaging.”

“And burning crops and houses and generally laying waste to the countryside.”

“The War of Northern Aggression – like I said.”

“The Civil War – like me and Shelby Foote and Ken Burns and millions of others said. You can look it up.”

We sat in silence. I could tell we had reached an impasse. Slim was looking a bit glum. I decided that the day needed some new energy. “I’m surprised, slim, that you didn’t once mention the magic words.”

He looked at me. “Magic words?”

“States’ rights,” I said.

His eyes bulged. Steam poured out of his ears. The glass shattered in his hand. “States’ rights,” he bellowed. “That’s what it was all about. No matter what you call the war, it was about the rights of a state or group of states over the rights of a federal government. Why just look at what’s happened since. We got the feds telling us what to do, from what crops we grow to the kind of cars we drive. Half of Wyoming is owned by the feds and we should take it back, we should….”

As Slim went on and on, I sat back in my chair and sipped my mint tea. The history of The Civil War weighed heavily on my lap and in my mind.

Photo: Tea Party uber-patriot. Photo by Don Jenkins, The Daily News

Help send this blogger to summer camp

Dear Friends:


I started my progressive blog, hummingbirdminds, in 2005. Those were the early days of political blogging. Hunkered down in a sod hut, I wrote my posts by candlelight, my PC powered by a coal-fired boiler.

We're in a new era. My PC is still powered by Wyoming coal (and will be forever, thanks to Energy Czar Ken Salazar!) but now I'm blogging in the bright light of day. I've discovered there are others like me in the far reaches of the country, places such as Zephyrhills, Florida, and Minot, N.D. There's a chance for us to gather together in mid-June in Minneapolis. We'll trade tips and learn how to better network with our peers around the country and throughout the West.

But I need your help. Netroots Nation will waive the tuition if I'm selected for a scholarship. I'll still have to ride my horse Blue to Minnesota, but we will graze together in lush garden plots across Nebraska and Iowa and Minnesota. A low-cost trip! Once in Minneapolis, Blue and I can share cheap lodgings at one of the city's many hipster hostels.         

So what are you waiting for? Help send this Wyoming blogger to Netroots Nation summer camp! Vote at http://tinyurl.com/4mspd4s.

Your truly,

Michael Shay

Cheyenne, WY

Celebrate campus free speech and human rights with a pledge to Ann Coulter's Homo Rainbow on Facebook

Ann Coulter's Homo Rainbow page on Facebook is growing by laps and bounds.

I originally posted about this on March 11, just after the project was started by Laramie rabble-rousers Meg Lanker and Will Welch. The idea is to make a pledge for each minute that Fox "News" commentator and Liberal-hater Ann Coulter speaks at UW on March 31. The funds go to three Wyoming LGBT organizations: GetEqual WY, Equality for All and the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

Such a great way to turn this event on its head. You will recall that the UW College Republicans made their own pledge back in the spring of 2010. Miffed that education reformer and one-time '60s radical Bill Ayers was allowed to speak on campus, the Repubs started working on an Ann Coulter engagement. It took awhile. Ann's busy as heck and couldn't come until a year later. And she only costs $20,000. Plus we hear that she wants only red M&Ms and pure, undiluted and unaltered American-made water in her hospitality suite. Any other beverage would compromise her precious bodily fluids.

Ann Coulter speaking at UW is not an issue. She has every right to speak. The college president has not sought to rescind the invitation, as he did with the one to Bill Ayers. Gov. (then gubernatorial candidate) Mead has not objected, as he did for the Ayers' speech. Former Superintendent of Public Instruction Dr. Jim McBride hasn't said a thing, although he was plenty miffed about Ayers. He wasn't the only one. Former Democratic Gov. Dave Freudenthal and Sen. Al Simpson also objected to the Ayers visit. Certain rich alumni threatened to withdraw funding from crucial projects, such as the new football stadium skyboxes with their unlimited supply of fresh Republican water (a.k.a. Freedom Water!). These alumni also said they would hold their breath until they turned blue. Or -- preferably -- red.

I could go on and on. Pledge now at http://www.facebook.com/AnnCoultersRainbow

SUPER CRIME STOPPERS -- Wisconsin/Wyoming Edition

Seen any suspicious characters lurking around Wyoming the past few weeks? Other than Republican legislators and oil company lobbyists at the State Capitol? If so, the Wisconsin governor needs you! SUPER CRIME STOPPERS wants tips on renegade Wisconsin state senators. Most people think they fled to Illinois, but valid tips have been flooding in from Tuscon to Tucumcari, Tehatchapi to Tonapah, Boulder to Birmingham, from the redwood forests to the Gulf Stream waters. One tipster thought he saw one of these renegades at the McDonald's in Douglas. Turned out to be a jackalope. Other sightings have come in from Jeffrey City and Medicine Bow. A suspicious duo in a Prius were stopped for driving too slowly on I-80 outside of Evanston. They turned out to be the only two Democrats in Uinta County. They were hauled in anyway for preventive waterboarding.

The Wisconsin Governor welcomes all sightings. Call now! Click on the link below and call now! And watch the skies!

SUPER CRIME STOPPERS -- Wisconsin Edition | Crooks and Liars

Kevin the Climber, Part I: An ADHD Memoir

I’ve been blogging from Wyoming since 2005, but only a portion of my posts focused on our family’s experiences with ADD, ADHD, OCD and mental health challenges. This is fitting in a way because my blog is named hummingbirdminds after a description by Internet hypertext pioneer Ted Nelson. He said in Wired Magazine that people with ADHD have “hummingbird minds.” I always liked that. My blog, like my mind, flits from subject to subject.

Kevin the Climber, Part I

Our son Kevin was diagnosed with ADHD at 5. I guess you could say it was a pretty severe case because it was evident from the time he started walking at 9 months – maybe even earlier. Walking was too tame for Kevin. He was a runner and a climber.

He climbed out of his crib. He climbed out of his playpen. He climbed 100-foot trees. And that was all before he turned 2. Later he climbed cliffs and mountains and buildings. He was more interested in climbing on the top of playground swing sets than he was swinging on them. He liked to shinny up the metal bars that formed the arch that held the swings. Like an inchworm, he would creep along the poles until he was right over the heads of those kids below on the swings.  "Hi down there," he would say with a laugh.  Some kids greeted him; others just stared.  The parents had various reactions. Most seemed concerned for their own children, afraid that Kevin could slip and fall right on them. A falling body builds a tremendous velocity in a very short span of time. Broken bones could result. Concussions and worse.

One day I was at the playground with Kevin while my wife Chris worked. Kevin’s favorite park was three blocks from the university’s married student housing complex where we lived while I worked on my writing and my graduate degree at Colorado State University. When we arrived at the park, Kevin made a beeline for the swing set and climbed up the curve of the rusty red iron pole. Within seconds he was perched 20 feet up, poised over the head of a blonde five-year-old girl wearing a Minnie Mouse T-shirt.  Her mother looked worried.  I didn’t have to be a member of the Psychic Hotline to understand the look of concern that creased that woman’s face. She imagined Kevin losing his grip and falling through space for a collision with her daughter. I imagined a similar scene.  She was thinking: “Why doesn't his father say something to this menace of a boy.”  She pushed her daughter with both hands as she peered up at Kevin. What follows is the conversation as best as I can remember it:

-- Your boy sure likes to climb.
-- Yes he does.
-- He seems pretty good at it.
-- He is.
-- It's a long way up.
-- He likes heights. He climbs mountains.
-- Has he ever fallen?
-- From Mount Everest. But just that once.

Ha ha. I sort of regretted saying it. I just wanted to wound this mother slightly, to get back at her for thinking I might be a lousy father. I felt like it sometimes, that I was a terrible parent for letting my son climb on something that obviously was meant to swing on not climb on.

I felt guilty around these good parents. They all seemed so much more comfortable with their roles than I did with mine. They acted as if parenting is some snug undergarment that never slipped or became wedged in vulnerable bodily cavities. I used to think that parenting would be innate, that I wouldn’t have to learn a series of new dance steps to dance the parent waltz. I wonder if they had all received some sort of parenting gene from kind and loving parents that I did not.

But there was something else: their kids were classified as normal and mine was not. And I was constantly trying to deal with that fact.

Look for Kevin Climber, Part II, in upcoming posts. Also, find this post on the Easy to Love but Hard to Raise blog after Feb.22. 

Tea Party Slim's budget worries

My old pal, Tea Party Slim, told me that he had a great time at this week’s inaugural festivities in Cheyenne.

“Now that Republicans rule the roost, the days of government throwing money at problems are a thing of the past.”

“What’s the government throwing money at?” I asked this in all sincerity.

“Education, for one. We throw more and more money at the public education system and still get the same results. Why not cut funding and see if that helps.”

“Why not just eliminate public school spending?” I said. “Home-school all the kids. Put those overpaid socialistic unionized teachers out of work.”

Slim smiled. “Sen. Hank Coe has those socialistic unionized teachers in his sights. He’s proposing a bill to end teacher tenure.”

“That’s one way to save money. Get rid of all those highly-paid experienced teachers and replace them with low-paid inexperienced teachers. Better yet, just close all those expensive schools and do that book-learnin’ at home. If it was good enough for pioneers, it’s good enough for us.”

Slim chuckled. “If this wasn’t such a great all-Republican week, I might take offense at that.”

“What other ways will the Legislature save money?”

“Glad you asked. End Obamacare. It’s expensive and unconstitutional. Gov. Mead says that we can do health care better in Wyoming because we have true grit.”

“Didn’t a legislator propose a bill that would earmark $2 million for that lawsuit against healthcare reform?”

“It’s not an earmark. And you know as well as I do, Mike, that lawyers cost money.”

“But it’s the Wyoming Attorney General’s office that’s doing the suing. Aren’t those AG attorneys state employees getting paid at the high end of the scale?”

“Sure, but you have expenses.”

“Lots and lots of trips to D.C. Phone calls. Photocopies.”

“Research, too. Lots and lots of research.”

“Still, $2 million is a lot of money for a lawsuit that doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of succeeding.”

“Says you. “ He chuckled again. “You’re not going to ruin this week for me. I’m feeling good and I plan on feeling this way right through the next presidential election.”

“When Sarah Palin gets elected?”

“She supports the Tea Party. She’s from Alaska – and an N.R.A. member. She’d be a great president.”

I could have fallen off my chair laughing. But I let it go. “What other cost-cutting measures are in the works?

“I have two words for you: illegal immigration.”

I waited patiently for more. When nothing was forthcoming, I had to ask how stopping illegal immigration into Wyoming would save the state money.

“Illegals are taking our jobs. Those jobs should go to Americans. We have unemployed people in this state.”

“We have one of the lowest unemployment rates in the U.S. Jobs go begging at fast-food joints and motels and farms. Illegals do the jobs that we don’t want to do.”

“We educate their kids too – and teach them English. That’s expensive. And don’t forget law enforcement. You’ve seen what those Mexican gangs are doing in Arizona. Cutting off people’s heads! You don’t want that here, do you?”

“Gov. Brewer invented the story about headless corpses littering the Arizona desert.”

Slim removed his hat and placed it over his heart. “Gov. Brewer is our hero. Don’t say anything bad about that great lady. She’s saving her state by kicking out illegals and stopping unnecessary heart transplants.”

“Not to mention head transplants.” I laughed this time.

“You Liberals think you’re all so smart. But you’re a dying breed in this state.”

“Don’ I know it. What are you going to do when all the Liberals are gone and this is the only one-party state in the U.S.A.?”

“Have a party,” said Slim with a grin. “And put up a big fence.”

“Won’t that be expensive?”

Slim looked thoughtful for a minute. “Unemployed teachers can build it. We’ll pay them Wyoming’s minimum wage, which is the lowest in the country.”

It was my turn to be thoughtful. “That would save the state money.”

“And we’d all sleep better at night knowing that we live in the safest and most secure place on earth.”